What's more important than emotional intelligence? Is it IQ or something else? When it comes to success and happiness in life, EQ matters as much as IQ. Research has shown that many people want to be emotionally intelligent, but they don't know how to go about it. This post will guide you to show you how to do it right and use it to build stronger relationships.

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What is Emotional Intelligence or EQ?

Emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient (EQ), is the unique ability to manage and use your emotions positively to handle challenging situations, relief stress, overcome challenges or conflict and empathize with others. It also describes one's ability to discern others' feelings and help them resolve their challenges without making things worse for them.

Emotional intelligence is the hallmark of success. With this skill, you can succeed in the workplace and anywhere else.

It helps you to communicate effectively and build stronger relationships both at work and in the workplace. It also allows you to make the right choices in life and positively affect the lives of others.

What is the Difference Between EQ And IQ?

As stated above, EQ (emotional quotient) is also known as Emotional Intelligence, which is all about identifying one's emotions and that of others, communicating with others and making decisions based on our feelings.

Two people holding hands
Emotional intelligence skills could foster the health of any relationship. Source: Unsplash

IQ means cognitive intelligence. This is the type of intelligence that we are most familiar with. It is the one we commonly reckon with each time we hear the word "intelligence." In schools, it is measured using grade points and examinations. Thus, a student that excels in his studies is said to have a high IQ.

Is Emotional Intelligence Possible?

Few people are born with the gift of emotional intelligence. This means there is good news for anyone that wants to become emotionally intelligent to reap its excellent benefits. Studies have shown that emotionally intelligent skills can boost career success, relationships, happiness, leadership traits and entrepreneurship potential.

However, there are four unique skills you must hone to build emotional intelligence. They are:

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-management
  • Relationship management
  • Social-awareness

You can learn these skills at any time. But there is a big difference between learning them and applying them to your life, and in other words, simply knowing what to do to develop your EQ is not enough reason to compel you to do them.

Most times, we tend to override our real intentions and ignore our inner thoughts when dealing with stress or facing severe life challenges. To ensure your behavior does not bow to the pressures you face in life, you need to learn how to deal with stress and manage conflict even in unfavorable conditions.

To develop emotional intelligence fast, you must use your emotions to control your decision-making process tactfully. You should also know how to act with discernment and at the appropriate time. That way, you can control impulsive behavior and feelings by making the right choices and managing your emotions in clever ways.

Social Intelligence vs. Emotional Intelligence

Social Intelligence has a lot to do with emotional intelligence than IQ. Like emotional Intelligence, Social Intelligence is all about navigating and manipulating emotional situations in a brilliant manner that does not affect others' feelings.

People laughing
There is a thin line between emotional and social intelligence. Source: Unsplash

Even if they sometimes overlap, there is a significant difference between them. Emotional intelligence has a lot to do with the present. It is used to identify the feelings and emotions of others at the moment. On the other hand, social intelligence describes feelings or emotions that are mostly referred to in the future. In other words, it is used to ascertain the feelings and emotions of others to predict possible outcomes or some future events.

See the tools you will need to learn emotional intelligence skills.

An excellent way to develop emotional and social intelligence is to test for emotional ability; there are different tests online you could take. Some are free, while others are paid. It is a significant step to take to determine your level of EQ or SQ before anything else.

Generally, the test will determine your level of social awareness, consciousness, emotional stability and lots more! So if you have a high score, congrats; it shows you are on track. But if you score very low on the test, you don't have to despair. There is room for improvement. All you need to do is put some effort to build these skills, and you may be amazed at your scores the next time you take such tests.

What You Should Know About Social Intelligence

It is possible to have social intelligence skills without knowing. Generally, people with such unique skills tend to appear before others as "people-oriented." the irony of it all is that no one is born with this skill. It is learned as we gather experiences and build relationships with people.

There is no need to dive deep into research to find out if you are socially intelligent.  Superprof has outlined the signs you should watch out for to that you possess such traits.

Signs That You Are Socially Intelligent

Most people who possess intellectual, social skills may likely have one or more of these traits.

·         Conversational skills

Have you ever seen someone that can start a conversation with just anybody? They know how to do it without feeling awkward. More so, they can easily remember facts about people, which makes them easy to befriend.

·         Effectively listening skills

This is a core skill for this kind of people. They listen not just to respond to questions but to understand the person's opinion without bias. Listening skills are necessary for effective communication. A person with such skill can develop people skills quickly.

·         Leadership skills

Socially intelligent people consider the impact their words have on other people. Not everyone can boast of such a trait. It describes an ability to carry people along in terms of thought, purpose, mission and vision. People with this skill quickly get a large following. And they can make impacts with their charisma and actions.

·         Reputation management

Managing one's reputation is not as simple as it seems. It is one of the most challenging aspects of social intelligence. You need to know how to manage your reputation even during a crisis. This will ensure people do not get a biased opinion about you. This requires tactfulness and discernment.

The Implications of Not Having Enough Social Intelligence or EQ

Emotional and Social Intelligence is not for everyone. Most people may never have enough of them, no matter how hard they try. But these skills are essential. And a lack of them may mean the following.

  • Having problems at work

People who lack these traits may have problems managing their negative emotions in the workplace. They easily get overwhelmed and blame others for their misfortune. Instead of looking at things objectively, they are subjective and biased in their opinions. Thus, allowing their emotions to control their actions.

  • Using abusive speech

People without emotional skills may think hurling abusive speech on others whenever they are angry is the best way to control their emotions. But they still can't get a hold of it. Instead, they end up ruining relationships and hurting the feelings of others.

  • Having problems at home

If you don't know how to control your emotions and use them to affect others' lives positively, you may have problems managing relationships, especially with your loved ones. Emotional intelligence has a huge role to play in conflict and crisis management. It entails the application of discernment in dealing with people, especially those we live with at home.

How to Develop Emotional Intelligence

  • Control your emotions

The next time someone annoys you, don't get upset immediately. Try to calm down and avoid jumping to conclusion right away. Although this is easier said than done, you may start to see positive changes soon if you put effort subsequently.

  • Avoid hateful speech

When you are mindful of your vocabulary, you will not hurt others with your words. With emotional and social intelligence skills, you will know how to choose your words carefully. In other words, you should be more focused on addressing problems than stewing on them and making them look worse.

  • Practice empathy

Showing empathy to others means resonating with them in any condition. It helps you to gain valuable insight into the feelings of others. When you do so, you will be able to put yourself in their shoes sub-consciously. This may help you realize that no one is perfect, and everyone has their issues to deal with at any time.

Two people discussing
Your ability to resonate with others in their condition shows your level of EQ. Source: Unsplash
  • Understand your stress triggers

Do the research and understand the different issues that could stress you out. Then, please make plans to have less of them in your life. The less stressful you are, the more you can reason logically and make informed decisions.

Final Thought

Emotional intelligence is not static. It evolves as long as you have the desire to develop it continually. Henceforth, seize every opportunity has a means of testing your EQ level. And make efforts to improve on it if the results are not satisfactory.

And when you eventually become emotionally and socially intelligent, you will begin to enjoy relationships and see the best in others no matter the circumstances.

Read more on gaining emotional intelligence.

 

 

 

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Marvis

Marvis Osarhenrhen is a freelance SEO writer that is focused on helping businesses reach their target audience, get leads and drive revenue through optimised content.