Your attachment style is the pattern of behavior you develop in close relationships, shaped by your earliest bonds - typically with your caregivers, parents and teachers alike. These styles influence how you connect, communicate, and handle conflict in romantic relationships, friendships and even professional settings.
First appearing in the works of John Bowlby, attachment theory is a psychological, evolutionary and of course ethological theory, that gives us an explanatory framework to understand better interpersonal relationships between human beings.
Understanding your attachment style isn’t about labeling yourself, it’s about gaining insight. Once you know your style, you can start making conscious changes that lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Quiz
Quiz :
The Four Main Attachment Styles
Before you dive into the quiz, here’s a quick look at the main attachment styles:
Secure Attachment Style
People with a secure attachment style are comfortable with intimacy and independence. They trust easily, communicate openly, and are able to set healthy boundaries. In relationships, they tend to be supportive, empathetic, and emotionally available.
Key traits: trust, emotional regulation, stable relationships.
Anxious Attachment Style
This style is marked by a deep fear of abandonment. Anxiously attached individuals often seek constant reassurance, worry about being unloved, and can become overly dependent in relationships.
Key traits: fear of rejection, emotional highs and lows, clinginess.
Avoidant Attachment Style
Those with avoidant attachment tend to value independence to the point of emotional distance. They may feel uncomfortable with too much closeness and struggle to express their feelings or rely on others.
Key traits: self-reliance, discomfort with intimacy, emotional suppression.
Disorganized Attachment Style
This style combines both anxious and avoidant tendencies. Individuals may crave closeness but also fear it, leading to push-pull dynamics and emotional confusion in relationships.
Key traits: inner conflict, mistrust, intense emotions, unpredictability.
Explore attachment styles from a purely romantic standpoint:
Get a Professional Attachment Style Assessment
While this quiz offers a helpful starting point, it’s not a diagnostic tool. If you’d like to explore your attachment style more thoroughly - especially if it’s affecting your relationships, self-esteem, or emotional well-being - consider consulting a licensed mental health professional. Psychologists and therapists trained in attachment theory can provide a personalized assessment and guide you through patterns rooted in early experiences.
In Canada, you can find qualified professionals through trusted directories like:
- Psychology Today
- Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA)
- TherapyOwl
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